The naming of a blog

I've had many blogs among the years.. " the Diary of a Dreamer"b. 2002 d. 2005 "Mis Poemas"b. 2005( currently a vegetable) "Trying to Defy Gravity" b.2006- currently in hiding and only speaking to the one trusted person in its life... an anonymous xanga blog b.2009....and of course various myspace posts set to private from back in the day.

So I'm no noobie to the idea of blogging, but for once I'm ready to go public. Perhaps its the sudden fame of the blog. The fact that many of my friends have decided to enlighten the world with their thoughts and the inner 16 yr old is wanting to be accepted by the cools kids.Perhaps I'm just desperate to jump onto this bandwagon too. Or maybe I'm just ready. I messaged someone of some importance when concerning their opinion about what they disliked about me. The culprit? Insecurity, they nailed it on the head. We all have had our self esteem punched in the stomach but shouldn't there be a point one gets over it?My current attempt to resolve this...putting things out into the open ( well....most things )

Now to explain how this ties into the naming of this blog and the confidence i'm attempting. Last night I had a very heart to heart conversation with a fellow blogger and the one person ( other than my mother) that I trust. We've gone through a lot in the past years and I admitted that I have always categorized her, another close friend of mine, and myself in this weird similar progression. Of course I'm not a person that explains things well, and most likely at least one reader ( if there are any) is rather confused by what I mean. To be put simply...three friends living similar experiences and progressing by maturing at a similar rate( that part being under speculation of course, haha). This heart to heart just proved the concept that had been running through my head for the past couple of weeks.....We're growing up.

Both friends came to me at different times on the same day to discuss the dreaded idea of commitment. I unfortunately have no reason to be afraid since there is no one in my life to be committed to, but this still triggered a feeling I knew all too well. It triggered this sense of an era dying. I stated this once before, when I was about to turn 20 and there's a whole boring back story, but in all reality that was just a stepping stone. But its the idea that you're living amongst a change. Everything around you is either disappearing or being revealed for what it really is. Both friends have known me since the first dying of an era, we've had our ups and downs with both relationships and ourselves, but have we finally reached that point of learning from it? That moment when things click and we can see ourselves reliving situations and just making a hopefully smarter decision? Or what we all fear...are we getting to that point where one realizes that things are getting closer to permanency?

Kate Nash has a song called Skeleton Song. People can say different things as to what it's true meaning is, but to me I see it as song dealing with the struggle of growing up. By Psychological definition adolescence ends around 25, so doesn't it make sense that this struggle ( as indicated by the lyrics and my own personal experience) starts around 22? This is what I will try to write about. The way I currently see the world during this odd time period. See if I can actually say goodbye to my skeleton friend.