Lean on me, when you're not strong And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on...

Every time I hear this song I cry. If you've ever been part of Jamestown 4H you would know exactly how much that song means to me. That feeling you get at closing campfire...when staff comes together after initiating all the new campers into order of the Clover, link arms, and just sing. This memory hurts me most now because I know I wont feel that again.

Jamestown was my home.After spending about 12 years there it was the one place I could be Kristol, and I didn't fully realize that until today. It's someone that I don't know how to bring out outside of that atmosphere but I treasure the friends and experiences that she has made. My first summer as staff was a huge obstacle, but O.C and I made it worthwhile by reminding eachother why we were there, the kids. We began singing the "linger" song every Thursday night at campfire in hopes that the message of family and friendships would be transfered to the kids.

Mmm, I wanna linger

Mmm, a little longer

Mmm, a little longer here with you

Mmm, it’s such a lovely night

Mmm, it doesn't seem quite right

Mmm, that this should be my last with you

Mmm, and come September

Mmm, I will remember

Mmm, our camping days and friendships true

Mmm, and as the years go by

Mmm, I'll think of you and sigh

Mmm, This is good night and not good bye

The friendships you build at camp are different than any other. You are forced to be put into this pile of diverse people as a child and somehow, you find some of the best friends out of it. When I was in high school and felt as if I had no one to talk to I had Heather and Mia.Those angsty years when I felt everything was WWIII all I needed was to turn on AIM. Mia and I had those interesting camp memories that all teens should experience ( with the exception of a Lodge 5 haunting, of course :-X hahaha) . She's heard it all from me, we know how it is to be viewed a certain way and not know how to escape it.........Friends are the ducktape to a broken heart. (yyyeeess... We came up with that alllll by ourselves several years ago )

But what about once you become staff? Being a 4H staff member is honestly a blessing,a privilege. You gain SO much from just one summer, and to be honored for 3 years, such a remarkable feeling. You live a life of no judgement other than to prove to the kids that its ok to be comfortable to be yourself. At the beginning of last summer's state staff several people confronted me wondering if I was ok, which made me REALLY realize how different Broadway is to Kristol, so I simply stated I wasn't in Broadway mode yet. As pictures start popping up about this summer it's is starting to really tear at me. I wont be coming back therefore never coming in contact with Broadway again. I'll never get the chance to be that jai-ho dancing, 80's song singing,TONY winning role model again, but I at least made some long lasting companions out of it.

You live with these people for an entire summer of insanity but its those days after camp that make you realize how much they mean to you. During a rough freshmen year O.C would kidnap me and we'd go caribou hunting at short pump. As we grew up this led to to sophisticated brunching in the Bottom to eventually bagel nomming at Panera with the mammas :-) . We went from knowing we were what every guy was missing out on, heartache, and after reaching our lows now knowing that we can only live with hope as we both start our new chapters in our lives on a clean slate.Filling in her shoes as a roommate was a very tough spot because we were clandestined twins...but..ah, yes, Marta became the sensible voice I needed. Who else would rescue legendary room 4 from a gigantic BUG OF TERROR than WuNBA? Haha or how about our love for hellogoodbye and kate nash? We're the international duo. We can cover good little blip of the World Cup :-) but our friendship wouldnt be complete if it wasnt for our baby Derby. Talk about a person who can make me laugh when I'm down to my wits end. We can stay up ALL NIGHT LONG...though if you ask us..we probably wouldn't recommend it. haha. And then...there was...Goose.I will miss us seducing one another in the PAC...a VCU theater and Music kid?!? GASP!?!? There are so many times she makes me proud and just surprises me with what she can accomplish.

Well I guess that's enough for confessing my love for my 4Hers, but to sum it up, 4H is one of the reasons I'm doing this now. Jimmy James gave me 12 yrs ( unfortunately wished it could've been 14, but those summer taught me things as well) to build the strength I need now. I have that backbone and know that no matter what, as Goose tells it to the campers so well,we'll always be a family.