We all have characteristics passed down from our parents. But what about the characteristics others will assume were passed down?how does that affect how we perceive ourselves? I just got done getting ready for the day, as in...I was already dressed in a hoodie, unwashed hairy,no make-up...but then decided perhaps since people visiting today and we might go out shopping tonight , I should look more presentable. And that's what got me thinking....what's presentable?
A habit that has been passed down from my mother was that I always feel like I need to look "presentable" whenever I leave the house...or atleast this habit has grown on me as I've gotten older. A hoodie and a messy bun is considered presentable to many people, I'm completely fine seeing people being even more bummy with that, no judgement, and to be honest ,what I was wearing earlier was actually fine for my mother ( She approved via skype webcam.) But the people visiting today were VERY close to my mother. They knew her during her prime , and for those of you who don't know ,my mother was ( and still is :-) ) EXTREMELY beautiful. Homecoming Queen status. She's always been the perfect blend of tom boy meet femininity. I , unfortunately, have always been on the clumsy , look-like-a-mess track when it comes to looks, but with age have at least attempted to become more presentable to her standards. But why didn't I feel comfortable in something she approved of?
First impressions. That's the best way I can put it. I've met them before, but I was with my mother. I've learned from many experiences from the past that when I accompany someone else I'm usually not the one that gets remembered as clearly, therefore when I meet people for the first time alone....I find that as their actual first impression. I want to live up to the memory they have of my mother...and for me it takes a little more work. haha. But it's just odd to think how all of a sudden I feel this pressure to be "pretty."
What I'm getting at isn't vanity, haha. My mother is beautiful therefore when I'm making an impression on people from her past I feel the need to let the characteristics I inherited from her come through. I make sure my eyes are done up, I look a little more put together, feminine, and attempt to come off strong not aggressive. Growing up I had to impress those on my father's side, therefore I always went more toward his characteristics I possessed. I made more of an effort to be humble, quiet , yet observant. I just learned how to turn on some characteristics depending on the situation. I enjoy the idea of controlling my actions but at the same time it'd become such a habit that it's a burden. I'm the kind of person who thinks way too much before act on something. I always found this interesting and have always wondered, how do other people deal with this?
Do you control your actions? Or do you just let whatever shows show? And do you think it's all heriditary, or a bit of nature vs. nurture debate?
No comments:
Post a Comment